Small Group Exercise: Train in the Three Difficulties - Slogan 44

What Is My Neurotic Pattern?

Slogan 44 — Train in the Three Difficulties
(Point Seven)

“What is my neurotic pattern — and what am I doing about it?”

This slogan asks us to:

1. Name the pattern (our go-to emotional or false-self habit - we may have more than one, but just name one!)

2. Interrupt it (don’t indulge or act it out)

3. Replace it (plant a new, more skillful response)

Group Instructions (35-40 minutes)

Step 1: Silent Reflection (5 minutes)

Reflect and journal on:

• What is one recurring neurotic pattern I know is running in me?

• What does it look like in action (tone of voice, body posture, inner dialogue - really explore the somatic and inner details)?

• When does it tend to show up?

• What is the impact on myself and others?

Step 2: Group Sharing (10 minutes)

Each of you answers:

• My core neurotic pattern is…

• Describe to your sangha mates what this looks like in action (tone of voice, body posture, inner dialogue….act it out a bit!)

• Name how you usually act it out or justify it. (this could be a defense mechanism or relate to self-deception)

• This is how I’m going to work with it differently (name the tools or slogans that will help you).

Step 3: Group Discussion (10 minutes)

• Which step is the hardest for you — noticing, stopping, or changing the pattern?

• What actually helps you remember to practice in real time (Street-smart Bodhichitta? Slogans in our bones? How do we get there!)?

Step 4: Closing (10 minutes)

Each of you are invited to name a brief reflection by completing the sentence:

• “One thing I’m taking with me from this conversation is…”

  This can be a word, a phrase, a realization, or even a question you’re still holding. There’s no need to explain or summarize — the invitation is simply to name what feels alive or meaningful as you close the circle.